I have been thinking about writing on this topic for a long time. I'm not a sociologist, or a woman studies major. I am a communicator and I'm always curious an interested in how people talk and relate to each other.
Labels. We all use them. African American. Housewife. Entrepreneur. Christian. Good Girl. Thug. Hustler. Even if you try consciously not to label people somewhere in your subconscious you probably have labels for someone and assigned meanings to these labels.
Three labels in particular have caught my attention. Bitch. Ho. Lady. Women -- young and old, do you identify with any of these titles? Maybe you are a combo or on any given day all three. Men, is this how you classify the women in your life? Is your mom a lady? But that young lady you just met is a cross between a bitch and ho? It's ok though cause you are willing to tolerate her bitch/ho tendencies to accomplish what you need to accomplish?!!?
I want to start a conversation/a dialogue with people on this subject. I am a part of a generation that grew up on hip hop. A generation that doesn't cringe when the terms bitch and ho fly freely thru a rap song. I'll be the first to tell you that one of my favorite all time rap songs is "Gangsta, Gangsta" by N.W.A. I have a good friend who's all time favorite song is Ice Cube's "A Bitch is a Bitch." Some may categorize these songs as misogynistic and degrading to women. Yet I was never personally offended by either of these songs. Does liking these songs mean I'm not a lady?
And what qualifies someone as a lady, or for that matter a bitch or a ho?
I personally think all human beings are multifaceted. Meaning that we all have the capacity and tendency to be more than one way. Sure if I'm extolling my greatness I'll tell you that 80% of the time I'm a lady. But there are some people who might remember me as the occasional, wild loud mouth girl from high school who would look for a fight and threaten to put a size 10 foot in your back. Now that doesn't seem lady like does it?
And the ho label, the ho tag. Someone, if they haven't already, could write a dissertation on this label. I return again to hip hop. What about the rappers that scream about you can't trust a ho? Yet will have scantily clad women in their videos that become labeled as video hos. Or the role that some women feel they have to play, the madonna whore. Pure and Puritanical at work, in the church. But behind closed doors does tricks with the best of the professionals.
What do all these labels mean? Do they pigenhole you and lock you into acting and behaving a certain way? Or are they just words? Tell me what do you think.
-LaToya A. Henry
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Guest Blog: The Bitch, The Ho, The Lady...which one are you?
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1 comment:
Well, personally...
I am the person most people, EXCEPT those who know me well, would label as the "bitch". I am moody; I saw what I want, when I want; I am straight up; I do not and will not tolerate ignorance and bs; I am passionate about the things I do; I am loyal; I do not sugar coat things, at all; If you ask me a question, be prepared for any answer you get...because if you ask, I do tell; I am not extremely friendly although I do enjoy people (a strange dichotomy, I will admit).
I like the blogger, grew up on hip hop. I love hip hop. I fell in love with Hip Hop in 1983the first time I hear the four opening beats of "It's Like That" by Run DMC in my living room. I have seen it evolve, from telling tales of real life to ficticious and fantasy based rhymes. These artists, mainly men, have carved out a place in their world where they say and do whatever they want...and often, it is at the expense of a woman.
However, if you look at it as art, no different than Mapplethorpe or Stephen King...you realize that it is a form of expression...it is an extreme talent to weave together rhymes and complex metaphors into something appeasing to the ear. To take offense to someone in a song referring to some, probably ficticious, woman is ridiculous. It is the same as me taking offense to Stephen King using the "n-word" in his books.
What am I...I am me! I am not and cannot be defined by any one label, and I refuse to be boxed into anything. I can be all three. I have been all three. I have never tricked for money. I have never prostituted. But I am sure I have done some things, in my past, that people might consider "whore"-ish. So what.
I cross my legs, I dress appropriately, I speak well...does that alone make me a lady? Does my intolerance for ignorance alone make me a bitch, and only a bitch?
I am not labeling myself, often, it is other people who are labeling you.
As Kat Williams has said...you need to be in tune with your STAR PLAYER...yourself. Do that, and your life will be much better, much happier, much more satisfying. I don't now, nor will I ever live my life based on what people think of me. I am living for God, myself, and my family...no one else. No one else's opinions matter. No one else's opinions should matter to you!
I do what I want. Being labeled, or a fear of being labeled does not, at any point, control my actions. Call me whatever you like...just make sure you mention how good at it I am!
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